The Process of Forgiveness

The Process of Forgiving

Forgiving is often one of our hardest challenges. Wounds take time to heal. In our minds we have to reason with the offense, and why it happened. It is simply our human nature.

It is also true that the process of forgiveness takes time according to the degree of the offense. Some things are easy, while others can be difficult to let go of.

I am not condoning withholding forgiveness. It is just a fact of life. As Christians we have to rise above the offense and forgive. It is more for us than it is for the person that caused the offense. There is an old saying that says some people are still being controlled by someone in the grave. They have never let go of the offense.

Let me say to those who are hurting. I am not trying to lessen the pain you bear. As a Pastor I have heard stories that I can’t even comprehend. Abuse, persecution, abandonment, and far greater. Offenses that would be difficult for anyone to forgive.

Let me repeat an earlier statement. “It is more for us than it is for the person that caused the offense.”

The writer of Hebrews speaks to a root of bitterness that grows in our hearts if we fail to pursue peace.

Hebrews 12:14-15 NASB

14 Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.

15 See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

There is also another issue that is critical to us as Christians, and our relationship with God.

Ephesians 4:32 NASB

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Forgiving because we have been forgiven. We didn’t deserve it. They may not deserve it. We must do as He did. There is an even stronger reference to this in the Lord’s prayer.

Matthew 6:9-13 NASB

9 “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
10 ‘Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
11 ‘Give us this day our daily bread.
12 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]

Look closely at verse 12. The short version is, “treat us like we treat others.” There is a huge wow in this passage. Forgive us, as we forgive others.

Remember-“It is more for us than it is for the person that caused the offense.”

Here is the part that many question. Do I have to forgive and forget. In other words if I forgive do I have to continue to deal with the person. I do not believe that God has an issue with going on with our lives.

I call it coming to an understanding of who someone is, and if they are moving towards the same goals as you are.

There are times in our walk with Christ that we get involved with some one based on what we see and hear. Forming a relationship before we really know who this person is. Trust me. My good nature and willingness to trust everyone has, more than once, created problems with the wanna bees. People who want to use your pulpit to advance themselves and their own agenda.

This Happens to individuals as well. Pray and seek the Lord before you give your trust to someone you don’t know well. Anybody can type up a resume that looks great. Say all the right things and then turn things upside down.

You must forgive, but nothing says that you have to continue to allow these people in you life.

Philippians 3:12-13 NASB

12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.

13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,

Move forward in the purpose for your life. Don’t let the hurt and pain another caused to hinder your life any more.

God has an amazing destiny for you. One that will change you and the world you live in. I am praying blessings and favor for you and your life in Christ.

Thanks for looking!